Where has the time gone?

My youngest son was eighteen on the eighteenth of June. God I've no idea where the time has gone.

This picture is of Rob and his girlfriend Lucy after a night in the pub. This time he was legal.

Happy Birthday sweetheart.

Just like buses - two come along at the same time

After nearly six months out of work, my youngest Robz has got a job, no correction this morning he managed to get two jobs. He's going back tomorrow to the Spice Factory in Clun where he worked before Christmas and he's also taken on a small gardening job for an elderly couple in Hopton Castle.

Well done Robz I'm proud of you.

What a week and it isn't over yet.

Monday was the anniversary of my Mum’s death. As you can imagine that was quite a difficult day. As I said in my previous post I do miss her so much but you know in many ways it was quite a ‘smiley’ day because all sorts of memories came back to me, memories that both me and the lads shared, so it wasn’t an awful day. Just sad because she was only 69 when she died and she had a lot more living to do but it wasn’t meant to be. Still love her though, I love her very much.

Tuesday I had a debriefing meeting at Attingham Park that was good. The book fair that Wrekin Writers were part of is going to take place again next year only next year it will bigger, better and longer. Three intensive days but it’ll be fun.

Wednesday gosh that was a day and a half. I had to be at Bridgnorth Hospital for 9.30 in the morning. Now those of you who know me, know I don’t do mornings but I managed it. Daniel (no 2 son) took time off work to drive me, only trouble was he drove my car, fortunately they didn’t take my blood pressure when I got there or it would have been significantly raised. However, after a long time of pain, swollen joints etc, I have been diagnosed officially with Psoriatic Arthritis and Spondylitis, you’ve never heard of it, well that about sums me up, I never have ‘common’ diseases, I always go for the different things. Anyway despite the not nice feeling of actually having it confirmed by an expert, I actually feel very positive because when I asked him what the prognosis was, he said it was good. So look out folks, maybe soon I’ll be able to move and not creak, laugh and not wince and what I’ll be able to do with my hands, well I’ll leave it there

Wednesday afternoon was the job centre with my youngest son in Ludlow and I took my eldest son too where he had a driving lesson. Tedious being a taxi driver but living in a village where there is one bus a day that doesn’t cater for anyone who wants to work etc Mum’s taxi is an integral part of life. But, whilst in Ludlow I made enquires about buying a new car. Okay I know mine isn’t old but hey I’m fifty next year and this girl just wants to have fun, so I’m looking at getting an Astra twin top so in the summer (don’t laugh) I can throw the roof back and have the wind blowing through my air. Probably play havoc with the arthritis but who cares, WD40 should sort that out.

Today was yet another trip into Ludlow where Robin (no 3 son) had an interview with the Wheels to Work Scheme. This is a charity designed to help people particularly in rural area get transport so they can get to work. He has three options, one is an electric bike (you should’ve seen his face)

An other option was a 50cc scooter (again you should’ve seen his face)

The third option is a contribution to driving lessons and his theory test. I know Robin would prefer that option but realistically a Ferrari is out of the question. The outcome was nothing was decided upon but now he knows his options.

After we left the interview I called in at Tescos in Ludlow and on my way back to the car I saw a lady sitting in her car with a flat tyre. Now I know how I’d feel if that was me. In theory I know how to change a tyre but in nearly thirty years of driving, I’ve always managed to find some bloke to do it for me. So, bearing in mind how I’d feel I asked if she’d got help sorted or did she want Robin to change the wheel for her. She looked at Robin, earrings, eyebrow bar, tattoo and spiked hair and asked if he’d done it before. Confidently he told her he had and I think somewhat reluctantly she agreed to let him do it. It wasn’t quite as simple as it should’ve been but he managed it in the end with a smile. Bless her, she was so grateful but you know the sad thing was she commented that not many people would have stopped to help. That is quite a reflection on the world we live in.

And tomorrow my first born son Christopher is 26. I don’t know where the years have gone. I certainly don’t feel old enough to have a son of that age and in many ways I find it difficult to get my head around how old my kids are because in many ways I feel like their still children and they’re not. That’s what gets me about the books on raising children, they don’t really prepare you for the realities of being a parent, they just tell you to what to look for in the developmental stages and the terrible twos are a things of the past, or at least that’s what they tell you.

Funny, funny week and my novel, I haven’t done much writing on that but in my head, that’s where I’ve escaped to and the urge to write it down is becoming more and more important. I think in some ways once I start life as I know it will cease to exist, now that’s exciting but also quite daunting. I can see piles of dishes stacked in the kitchen, the laundry spilling out of the utility room and threatening to invade the rest of the house, the grass growing to such an extent that to get to my car I shall need a safari hat and a guide. Now I’m being silly or am I?

My Mum

Three years ago today my lovely Mum was 'Promoted to Glory' and although Iwas privileged to be with her when she died there is not a day goes by that Idon't miss her dreadfully.

Writing about someone you love and you've lost isincredibly difficult and I'm not even going to try. Instead I want to share apoem with you that over the past three years I have found to be of immense comfort.


Death is Nothing at All

Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)


Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am and you are you,
Whatever we were to each other that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way, which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,
Laugh as we always laughed,
At the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity,
Why should I be out of mind,
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
Just around the corner, all is well.

To my Mum thank you. Thank you for your love, your laughter,your sense of fun, your drive, your determination but most of all thank you forbeing my Mum.I will alway love you. God bless xx

And suddenly

I knew where I was going.

What am I talking about. My book, my novel, my masterpiece that has languished on the shelves for a few years now. The one that some have read part of and enjoyed, or at least have said they've enjoyed, the one an editor read part of and told me what was wrong with it and I totally agreed with her but didn't know how to tackle it. Well that problem has finally been solved. I know what the story is, I know where it is going and I've started rewriting it. Joy of joys!

So when and where the 'and suddenly' bit came from. Thursday evening 4th June 2009 I sat in Church Stretton library listening to the crime novelist Gillian Linscott. She was entertaining, amusing and I was quite happy listening to her. People were asking questions and my novel was the furthest thing from my mind. Someone made a

comment and Gillian replied 'I'm old fashioned, I like a story to have a beginning a middle and an end. And suddenly (now you know when and where the and suddenly came from) from nowhere came the solution to my novel. Driving home my mind was a whirl. A story idea that came to me a long time ago suddenly made sense. That night as I tried to sleep, people I've known for a long time, started talking to me and Friday switching on my computer, I felt as if I'd returned home. Now the rewriting has started, it's slow and painful but that's down to my arthritis nothing else.

So watch this space and I'll let you know what happens....