My dear cousin Barbara has just recently celebrated her 55th
birthday and as she said, ‘my life is peaceful , I am content.’
Five children and grandchildren, what more could she want?
But Barbara had a dream, a goal to aim for and that was to
pass her driving test. On the 16th April I got a message saying she’s
past her driving test the day before. Apparently she drove around everywhere,
so happy with her achievement.
Around about the 20th April she was taken into
hospital where she died on the 5th May.
Barbara and I used to sort of play together. The reason I
say that is she remembers me kicking her with my walking plasters on or my ‘cripple
boots’ as they were known then.
But after she found me on facebook a couple of years ago, we
picked up where we left off and just filled in the details of over thirty years
of not seeing each other.
I really can’t believe she’s gone but I will treasure her
memory and always be grateful for the time we had together.
I always think grief is a selfish thing because it’s about
us and not the person we grieve for, especially when illness etc, is the reason
for that grief.
It’s been a hard couple of months, I’ve lost an uncle, a
dear friend and now a very much loved cousin. Yes I grieve and yes I miss them dreadfully
but aren’t I lucky that I knew them well enough to miss them so much.
Probably a very disjointed post and I’m sorry but some
things hurt and at the moment – selfishly I’m hurting.
But to Barbara - I will always love you and I'll miss you but more than that - thank you for being part of my life.
xx
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