Red top day and the benefits of a good night's sleep

You can't beat it can you? A good night's sleep. Okay it was about two this morning I went to bed but I didn't have to get up to take the lads to work so that was fine. The alarm went off, despite the fact I'm sure I switched it off, so I did, then turned over, snuggled down and went out like a light. Finally I did wake up, went to the loo, fell down the stairs and managing to keep the momentum going switched the kettle on and then I turned and looked at the kitchen clock.

Oh my God! It was eleven thirty five! Immediately my body went into catatonic sleep mode as I collapsed at the kitchen table, my brain fought to bring me back to reality and when it had achieved that started laying all the guilt that it possibly could on me.

'How could you Sue?' Well it was quite easy really I just did.

'You should be ashamed of yourself,' I must admit for nearly a split second I agreed with it and then thought sod it, I needed the sleep, I didn't really have anything to get up for and besides the weather looked pretty crap outside, so bed was the best place.

But you know, I actually felt good this morning. I was well rested, I wasn't in that much pain and I could walk hence the red top day. I only wear red when I'm feel happy or when I need cheering up but today it was definitely a happy day.

Why am I writing about a happy day? Those of you who know me, know that over the past few years life has thrown rather a lot of nasty things at me (understatement) and it's worn me down and at times nearly destroyed mne. Fortunately I have friends that care and one dear friend took the time to sit down and talk with me. It was a painful conversation for me because I admitted exactly how I felt, I don't think it was easy for my friend either but the result was I went to see to see the doctor who wasn't surprised to see me but confirmed despression, gave me tablets and is arranging for me to have councelling. I need to get control of my life, my feelings and learn how to put the past behind me so I can look forward to the future, whatever that might be.

I also need to get back to my writing, hence this post and the ones that will follow. I'm going to be selfish and use this blog as my journal. I'm going to write all sorts of things, some good, some bad, probably most of them will be boring but it's my way of coping and sharing this journey that I'm beginning, the journey back to me.